Fitness: Self Loathing to Self Love
“Fitness is a state of mind, a commitment to move and be active. It is a lifestyle, not a workout. It is how you move and why, not how many reps or how much weight. To be fit is to be strong, feel confident and always ready for the next goal. My commitment is to your success. Your success lies in the details, how you move, how you feel, what you believe.”
Fitness: Social Definition and Self Judgement
As a young teenage girl with little parental guidance and left mostly to my own resources, my self judgement was under constant fire from outside influences.
Popular media depicts fitness as a condition of physical ability and appearance. This aesthetic and performance-based representation further contributes to the dysfunctional collective belief that fitness is a box into which we should all strive to fit. Thus perpetuates the unrealistic and appearance-focused standards upon which I based self judgement and placed the gold standard of perfection.
Most of us experience enough self judgement without social pressure to keep us in therapy for a lifetime, if we are willing to admit it. This cultural perspective of aesthetic judgement as a definition of fitness pulled me to the self loathing end of the spectrum for much of my life.
The Fitness Spectrum
On the surface, fitness can seem like a choice: go to the gym, don’t go to the gym; eat the cookie, don’t eat the cookie. Believing that fitness comes down to choice places us under constant judgement and draws us closer to the self loathing end of the spectrum.
This belief assumes that self love is a choice. It’s not, it’s a journey. One’s experience of fitness is an integral part of this journey. There is only one choice that directly impacts a person’s fitness experience, the choice to honor and nurture the connection between emotional self and physical body with self love.
On one of the spectrum is a healthy reflection of self, an experience of connecting body and spirit such that we achieve both physical and emotional wellbeing. On the other end of the spectrum, fitness can be experienced as the lack of physical and emotional connection, or as an unhealthy expression of self judgement. Note, this experience is not defined by body type, nor does it have size qualifier.
Journey from Loathing to Loving
As a trainer, I often hear “I bet this is easy for you,” “you look like you always work out,” “I can’t believe you, a trainer, falls off the wagon.” It’s hard for me to hear this because it reminds me that as a trainer I’m held to a higher standard. Honestly, it’s not realistic. I can’t be “on” all the time. I fall down, I struggle, I feel heavy self judgement.
My response to these statements, really inquisitions, is “I am human and I fall down. I definitely experience times where I struggle. It’s because I struggle that I have the experience be part of this journey for for others. I have found in times of struggle it’s the small steps that offer greatest progress. To use an old slogan, it’s progress not perfection.”
Giving ourselves time and space to take small steps with intention and patience, we can experience big change. This change is both physical and emotional.
I believe this journey begins with learning to move the body and experience accomplishment through small steps.
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with one step”
The first step is the greatest challenge. This is because the focus is often on the thousand miles and not simply the first step. While the thousand mile view gives each step meaning and hope, our experience of accomplishment comes in the day-to-day steps. Here, intention, patience and small steps fuel our journey of self love. This, in turn, feeds the motivation to keep moving.
Small Steps, Big Change
Keep it simple. Do something more than you did yesterday: take more steps in your day, use the stairs, walk down the block or add more distance. As long as it is more than you’ve been doing, you’re moving forward!
SMART goals: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Realistic (also Relevant), Time-bound. Try using minutes as a measure. “Today, I will walk outside or on the treadmill for 5 minutes.” After a few days, try adding one minute.
Use positive self talk: I deserve to feel stronger and healthier, I accomplished my goals, I am stronger with every step.
The ability to experience your body through movement and intention is a gift that opens pathways to emotional connection and healing. The emotional self guides the journey, expressing itself through the body. Each small step is a chance to accomplish a goal, experience a positive connection between emotional self and physical self. Each step in your fitness journey is an opportunity to connect with your body and open the experience of self love.
To explore the next most loving sep for yourself or simply discuss where you are now in your health and fitness journey, schedule a complimentary Curiosity Call.